As a lady in my thirties, I was recently admonished to make plans to have a child since I am yet to be married.
They actually gave me tangible reasons to embark on a journey of getting pregnant, perhaps to avoid me ‘hooking up’ with menopause. Well, they were all men in the advice pool.
But I will say this: in a world where single motherhood is stigmatized in Nigeria, this is the same lifestyle I am advised to reconsider.
The life of a single mother can only be told by her; she feels every bit of the pain in depth. Beyond the social media clips lies a scenario unseen.
The question is, if they had a chance to rewrite their story again, would they want to take the same route? Single motherhood is hard, especially when you have no supporting system.
It can drain you emotionally, financially, and serve you a mocking feast just because you decided to save a life rather than cut it off. The world laughs at her decision because a fetus was nurtured to birth.
Amidst the pain of being a single mother, there is also a bright light that emanates hope.
As a lady, I don’t want to embark on the journey of pregnancy alone. It is my life, and I decide not to be a single mother just to have a child.
Sometimes, we don’t ask further questions about how the child will be raised, the necessary finances needed to groom the child, or all the emotional maturity and skills needed to groom this child from teenage age to youthful age.
What if there’s a twist, and one dies? Who will look after the child?
As a single lady, I solely believe that you should not allow people to project their fears onto you based on people’s life stories or their fears of “what ifs.”
If you want to embark on that journey of getting pregnant without a husband, let it be solely your decision and not from societal pressure.
When you are all pregnant, you may be the only one standing at the crossroads. In all you do, remember there is a God who has the final say.
While respecting all the single mothers globally, I don’t only want to have a child that will take care of my old age and give me a fitting burial, I also want to have a befitting life that my child will mirror after I am long gone..
