There are some moments when the things that breathe happiness in one’s life suddenly hit the hurricane of life and the individual’s mind is being pushed into a deep dark hole, leaving the life experience unexplainable .
I have read a couple of pieces on social media that echoe “Suicide is not the Option” and I solely believe this statement have joined the cliché of words as each year creeps by.
This phase of life makes you inculcate a culture of silent and even if you find the courage to open up and seek for help, the outcome maybe that of ridicule or a deliberate attempt of mockery.
I understand that life makes everybody bleeds but some injuries in another’s life can be so deep , living the soul so helpless and often times thrown into the world of hallucinations where the individual has to fight between the spiritual realm and the physical.
Just because you survived your phase of agonizing difficulties, does not make you a super hero to take a judgement seat of expecting others to have the same courage you had of scaling the same fence smoothly.
Just like our five fingers are not equal ,human lives are not equal. Our diverse life experiences have become a foundation on how we approach life situations . Some become stronger while others maybe left to scuffle with life and death.
Back to the phrase ” Suicide becoming the only Option”.. I have been in a place in my life where I had to contemplate suicide, not to stab my self to death as it way but to nurture my mind to a point where l would have simply blown my soul to an early grave . It was a battle of the mind, I had to fight with myself to wake up almost every morning.
I had a vibrant Pastor, a Chief Nurse Officer, a pharmacist and a doctor but I still found myself alone caressing a deep hole because how I was feeling became unexplainable and an attempt to voice out my pain to my only friend then became an item of ridicule.
I was left with a battle that was beyond the physical, I just knew I was not Okay but the process of letting these medical professionals know how I was feeling became stifled.
For the first time in my life, I was Alone. My life became a nightmare even though I was going to church and cleaning it . I was still upholding the thought of if I will survive the next couple of days. It was tough and traumatizing to actually find myself in this dilemma but somehow I could not help it but just flow with it.
The sight of caskets along Nwaniba Road became the path of terror because a glance at it reminded me of ” My Gone Too Soon” poster.
Being Tired of the situation, I had to fight the root of the problem which was the words in my mind. Even some of my dreams became a playground for ghosts. I told God at some point ” I don’t know how to explain how I am feeling but You are God, You know it all .” My life of worry of being a jobless First Child actually led me to the point where I was stocked with depression and I almost lost my life for it. It was a minor problem but it would have led me to my early grave if I didn’t fight back.
I had to deliberately trust God by ignoring every negative words in my mind while replacing it with the scripture that says ” The thought I think towards you are of good not of evil, to bring you to an expected end. “.. I also had to ignore the stuff I was sighting, I had to pray and just battle with my mind by muting those negative words of dying prematurely. It took almost a year to fight this.
If you have never contemplated suicide , it is simply an indication that you are ignorant about the situation. If life has not pushed you to a point where you see yourself writing a goodbye note to your love ones or swim in the thoughts of ” Goon Too Soon” , then you are simply a novice in this particular phase of life.
Don’t be quick to judge others that have attempted suicide or even taken their lives in the process because you did not warm their shoes at that moment of their deliberation. Before you actually pull the trigger of criticism, go and have a taste of their tears and live their fears and feelings at that moment. Take a walk through their life stories of mystery and uncertainties. Until you actually feel the warm of their pains and feel the crack of their rib cage, then you have no right to pull that trigger on a person that want to take his life.
Suicide is not majored by how hard a situation is, it can simply be a minor case like mine, ” Joblessness” and the person just feels like taking his or her life. It is important to know an extent of this mental illness because as Young fathers and Mothers, even as friends and family members, we might find ourselves in a situation where we have to handle a case of Suicide of our love ones.
Understand, a time comes when ” Suicide becomes the only option in an individual’s life and to tackle this situation, you need to reserve your plate of judgemental looks and comments and simply empathise with the soul so that a life can be saved.
A seemingly strong and energetic man or woman might be nurturing a suicidal thought, you can be one step away from saving him or her. Endeavour to lend a helping hand even though the situation maybe a mystery to you.