Unmarried @ Thirties : My Life Story

Unmarried @ Thirties : My Life Story

Being in your thirties as a lady is of major concern to the society if you are still single. Despites the pressure, I decided not to wallow on the timeframe of others to have a date fix for my wedding. Even though l get some judgemental eyebrows or stares, l choose to remain calm.

If l was told l would still be single at this age l would have winked an ugly face. Life has been on the waves of capturing the moment and am like swimming according to the downs and ups of it . Even though have been pressured to be ringed as a result of being the first child in my mother’s womb, l still believe l need more time to sort myself out first before accommodating a stranger.
There was a time l turned to date any man introduced to me in order to capture the likeness of my fellow concerned spectators…. As expected, none had a future rhythm, they all played according to the temporarily notes at the moment. I don’t blame them because they must have been caught up in the pressurized mood.

Mom sometimes came to my room around 2am to ask why l am still single and any discussion from family and church members are constantly asking the same question- When will you get married? I either reply with a smile or frown. This approach can be so devastating and no one seems to care about my own plans about life , all they were interested in was for me to settle down and have children. Is life all about having kids and husband? A question l needed to deal with every single day.

The same question made me to do some prophetic assignments, met prophets for prayers to break anything that seem like a curse. This circumstance can make you think that there is something wrong with you and at some point l stopped attending weddings so l will not be reminded of my agony.

Social media was not also friendly , each timeline was either a proposal or a wedding dates. I felt so much pain and as a result l became desperate, it was like life to every woman was centred around her marital status.

However, in the midst of all these , l had to ask myself what l really needed in life as a lady in her thirties, Do l really want to get married or get to know myself first? I had to be honest because in my twenties l did not really know who l was .

Answering this question made me eliminates all the pressurized thoughts l compiled for years, it gave me a chance to ventilates my life. l had to make up my mind to own my personality and to find out what l want to live for and remembered for …. It is in all these that l realized l have been missing out in the real deal of life. I had this peace and It was a beautiful experience and is still is

I am no longer worried about the future, l am no longer meeting prophets for prayers or answering questions on who l will marry or when my marriage will take place. Sometimes l laugh at some of the sacrifices l did in the past and guess what, l am still single ( sai).

I liberated myself from the pressures of society by loving who l am, l love the fact that l am single and l also love being called Ma, no wahala. Even though my younger sister chooses to get married before me, it is simply okay, l have given up the fight and l just want things to work out on God’s plan.

Meanwhile, I never wanted to be a person labelled pretty, tagged along with a crowd of motherly virtues and a wife to a man, l want so much more. Many women have lost themselves in the pool of marital responsibility and l sincerely don’t want to be among these fellows.

I really had to know who l am and do what l love doing before the marital affairs come knocking… I knew if l did not deal with these flaws in their specifics, they will never make me feel my existence.

I am now happy that l am finding my way, owning my voice and doing what l love, in so doing any man that will be offered the acceptance form will know his not marrying me in pieces but in wholeness.

A lady in her thirties can be categorized as being old but if she dies at this age, will she still be tagged an old Lady ? . After being pressurized into marriage and raising kids, what next ? Questions we should all ask ourselves.


Mercy Obot

Mercy Obot

Mercy Obot is a journalist, entrepreneur and an inspirational writer who takes delight in emboldening people through real life stories. She also loves reading, listening to cool music and making friends globally.

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Awesome!truly, marriage is not an achievement. What is important is finding yourself first b4 ur partner finds you.What is important is the impact we make in life generally in our relationship with our spouse, friends, our children,n the world at large. Knowing who you are makes life meaningful and attracts ur life partner to complement who u r effortlessly. Marriage is beautiful when we have the right person.We will all get married someday and it will be awesome but let get things right.May God help our generation. Thanks to you big sis.

    1. My lovely sister, thank you so much

  2. A truly deep story.Well written

    1. Thank you dear

  3. Ufanmi! I’m loving the personality you’re becoming. Kinda different from the lady I knew years back.
    Now I see an Icon of Hope

    1. Thank you IMA mi…

  4. Wow!! awesome!….would love to marry an independent lady when the time calls

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