The General Overseer of the Calvary Church, Pastor Olumide Emmanuel, who is popularly known for his profound teachings on relationship matters shared his experience as a third husband to his former wife and how he later filed for a divorce after nine years of marriage because of countless abuses.
Narrating his first marriage ordeal on a YouTube channel hosted by Kingsley Okonkwo, the relationship coach and counselor said he got married to a church sister in Mountain of Fire in 1997.
According to him, his former wife had married twice but due to complexities in these unions, the marriages crashed, making him her third husband.
Olumide Emmanuel realized during their courtship that the lady had a clog in her heart resulting to her pain and trauma due to her two failed marriages.
” I realized she was in the prison of her past and insecurity became a major issue. Her experience had damaged her and she was yet to be heal from her trauma.
” Well, I was not scared because I knew how to deal with this kind of issue as a relationship coach.”
Opening up about the countless of abuse after legalizing their union in 1997, Emmanuel described it as being painful and devastating.
In his words, ” I got married as a young man to this lady in my late twenties and the union became a combination of all kinds of stuff.
” I got married to a sister in Mountain of Fire so she could pray, till tomorrow. Till now, I am not sure I will be able to reach her payer as a man of God . She prayed an average of three or four hours every night.
“Unfortunately, I believe the prayer was not an effective one because it had to do with ‘die’ and ‘destroy’.
” Apart from her religious massive prayer stunt, the abuse I encountered in my marital home was heavy. It was all kinds of abuse especially the physical abuse.
“In that marriage, at minimal, I got like six slaps in the nine years of marriage. Despite these maltreatments, I never lifted a hand.
” But one day, she got up one day and the house was empty. She left our nine or ten years marriage.
“When she left, there were several interventions from men of God and family members to restore the marriage but none yielded fruit.
“So to protect my mental health, I had to file for a divorce.
Dr Olumide Emmanuel said the divorce experience distraughted him, making him swim in the pool of his tears.
” I cried when she left, leaving me in an empty house. People don’t know the pain of divorce.
“When my marriage crashed , it was devastating and shedding of tears. I even encountered mental issue in the process.”
Even though Emmanuel had gone for a therapy session to heal from the situation, he emphasized that the divorce dilemma is still hurting him till date.
” The stigma and scar of divorce, I am still bearing it till today.
“One of it is not being able to recognize my two children who are in the United States because my former wife has succeeded in hiding the children from me.
“I remarried seven years later and I have a son who is 10. Now he is beginning to ask of his two siblings who are in their early twenties now.
” People are still asking me of my ex wife because they are not aware of the marriage crash.
” In January, 2009, when I decided to go public with my divorce in the church , I was castigated from different angles, even the people I helped, threw their stones on me.
Admonishing people on Divorce, Dr Olumide Emmanuel emphasized that divorce is not a sin. He said it is important to let go if the marital issues are threatening your life.
“. Don’t let church, religion or all those hypocrisy kill you, it is important you come out if it is threatening your mental health.”
He also noted that it is essential not to ” jumb into divorce ” if one has not exhausted almost all strategies needed to restore his or her marriage.
Emmanuel further hinted on the stigmas one must be prepared to face if he or she is willing to go through divorce.
After going through a divorce, the relationship coach emphasized the need for the individual to embark on self evaluation to ask these pertinent questions. What went wrong? What mistakes did you make? And what lessons did you learn.
According to Emmanuel, these questions prevent individuals who have been divorced to avoid having another marital dissolution.
At the end of the day, Dr Olumide Emmanuel believes his ministry is born out of mystery.
“My experience on divorce taught me that you can be so anointed but you can still experience a failed marriage so that you can rescue the next generation and teach them practical things”