Choosing Your Battles in Marital Affairs
In Zita Fontaine Words : ” There are causes worth fighting for, there are causes worth even dying for. And there are causes we need to walk away from. The real skill is not how to fight, It is knowing which battles to pick and which to walk away from.
In any marital affair , there is bound to be some level of conflicts because there are two individuals with different life experiences, backgrounds, lifestyles and different upbringings coming together to become one body. The process of the two couples trying to be on the same pace as they grow together can be a bit challenging and it is imperative for them to know how to choose their battles carefully in their marriage.
Allison Hyacintho ( a renown marriage counselor) gave a hint on choosing your battles when handling your marital affairs.
In His words: ” Recently my wife and I were in a conference teaching about the recipe to a godly marriage. When it got to her turn to minister, she preached on the topic, ‘choosing your battles.’
“Sitting there in the minister’s corner just watching her teach is one of the best feeling in the world for me, to hear God speaking through her, and to feel His power in her utterances.
“In her words she said, “choose your battles wisely, some of you don’t know the red flags to run away from, and the compromises that are not meant for you to make, let alone attempt to accommodate them. For instance, my husband bites his nails, that’s a side of him I don’t like, but its a side that I can conveniently compromise on, because bitting his nails doesn’t in any way get in the way of his spiritual walk with God, neither does it in any way affect my own spiritual walk with God too…”
“Choose your battles carefully guys, please, choose your marital battles wisely.
“God did not promise that in our marriage we won’t get any temptation, and that the enemy will not show his ugly face in our business, no, what God has promised to give us is His presence through the storms. All we have to do is to choose the battles that our strength can carry.
So what kind of battles can your power carry?
Or maybe I should rephrase the question better;
Are you picking battles that the presence of God can help you win? Or you are choosing battlefields that God has already warned you to flee from?
Some of you know that your partner is exhibiting characters that are very contrary to God’s spirit, but funny enough, that is the very love that is sharking you the most.
If he breaks things and hits you whenever he is angry – this is not your battle aunty, it’s a war meant for the likes of Angel Gabriel, not yours to fight at all, stop trying to arrange a table that God has already scattered.
She has a loose tongue and she repels authority, this is not your battle uncle, she needs to first learn how to submit to God, unless you have the strength to battle with pride and authority.
Choose carefully guys, do not be afraid to say “NO, I cannot do this with you.”
I’m not trying to justify the habit of always bitting my nails, I know it’s not something nice for an adult to do, and my wife is helping me overcome my nail bitting habit, but there are just some things about a partner you cannot compromise on…
Before you choose to let any habit slide, or any addiction pass, ask yourself these questions:
*Is this something that God has warned me about from His word?
*Will this affect my walk with God?
*Will this cause me to compromise on God in other areas of my life?
*Do I have the necessary gifts of the spirit to have dominion over this battle?
In Psalms, David said God prepared a table for him in the presence of his enemies. This means that God was present at that table with him because he was at a battlefield meant for him.
Please don’t go picking battles that God’s spirit cannot be present,” he said.