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Choose Your Battle as a Woman is an interesting piece that will reorient your mind to pursue your peace of mind instead.
Let start with a story to drive my point.

In the course of adhering to the Clarion call of my Country, I was authorized to serve in Ogun State, the land dominated by tribes from Yoruba ethnic group.
My place of primary of assignment was in Odeda Local Government, and it was simply peaceful . The indigenes were so hospitable to corp members, although some of them couldn’t communicate in English Language.

Well, the rural area left me in shock when I was interwoven with their marital lifestyle. It was an experience that depicted modern slavery and dehumanization. Have never seen nursing mothers under the scourge of the sun selling newspapers at midday, neither have I seen a heavy pregnant lady hawking dry pepper in the heat of the day.

As a school teacher, when pupils are asked when they are paying their school fee, about 80% of the kids tagged their mothers in their response, this indicated that most mothers were responsible for their children’s education.

It was so disheartening to watch these women go through Hades of fire in the arms of men they called their husbands.
My curiosity led to a trench of questions. Why are women suffering in this part of the country? Does such lifestyle traditionally incline with their culture within this precinct?

This prompted me to discuss my traumatize discovery with a Yoruba lady who had her share of marital ordeals. Her husband graciously goes to the market alone to purchase food items, since he is not comfortable with anybody having a feel at his money.

Her response created an indelible mark in my heart, she said in a soft tone,” Mercy, I learn to choose my battlefields every day, I intentionally choose what gives me peace.”

It was short, but it was more than enough lesson for any lady who finds herself stuck in any problematic situation.

Unfortunately, the fight of one allegedly middle-aged woman in Calabar who was in a hot chase of her husband over his “mistress”, led to her early grave. Probably, her intention was to either confront the side chic or confront the husband over his cheating spree, and her action plan instantly made her become an angry woman who just wanted to defy all odds to achieve an aim.

Nobody knows if she was a victim of domestic violence or the husband was the one being victimized by her, but amidst all this, we have to learn to choose our battlefields. It is not all fights we should engage in, especially when it deteriorates our peace of mind while dragging our feet gradually to depression pool.

If your partner is cheating, no amount of nagging will change him or her, it only takes the person to amend his ways.

When you have exuded your energy, and you don’t know what else to do, it is time to just pray and let God take control of the situation.

Believing that your prayer is a seed that might not change things instantly, but it will surely yield fruits that will make you encounter light at the end of the tunnel.

If you have been looking at his phone or dutifying yourself as a monitoring spirit to his calls, you will have to disengage yourself from such activities…this breathes anger and worry in humans, it is never healthy.

Learn to stay calm when the relationship storm seems overwhelming and know that you can’t fight what is out of your control, you can only handle what is within Your powers. At this point, your thought is under your jurisdiction, make it work for you.

Your thought controls your actions, renew it every minute if you have to. As for your spouse, Let your actions serve him or her an everlasting wonder.

Choose your battle as a woman

Mercy Obot

Mercy Obot is a journalist, entrepreneur and an inspirational writer who takes delight in emboldening people through real life stories. She also loves reading, listening to cool music and making friends globally.

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